Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
