I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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