He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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