Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
