wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
