i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize