Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
