After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
