she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
