Umm I'm too high to move.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
