so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
