and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
