If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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