my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
