My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
