Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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