The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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