It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
