if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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