I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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