So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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