There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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