You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
