how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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