do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
