She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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