Will you blow on my dice?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
