my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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