also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
