You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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