Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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