Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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