you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
