I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
