Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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