Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize