it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize