It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
