AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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