im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
