i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize