And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
