Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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