i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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