I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
