I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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