Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
