I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
