3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Randomize
