life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
