My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
