Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
