i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why are your pants in the freezer?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
