she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
