Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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