maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize