I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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