I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
