im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
