I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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