We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
