I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
