sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize