Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
