Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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