It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
