I will die if light touches me.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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