The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
