But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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