it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Vodka?
Forever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize