she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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