Grow some girl-balls and come out already
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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