found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
